im in shock

My best mate Ilz 2 months ago left aus to move home to Turkey (even tho he has grown up here).

I had not spoken to ilz other than a quick hi on msn, until Friday night. He told me he had news, but did want me to be upset.

He tells me he is getting MARRIED on Sunday!!!!! i almost died with shock.

i had preperred myself for him meeting someone.... but not marriage.. not yet.. he has only been there 2 months! He was so not looking to marriage when i knew him.

So today is Tuesday.... (monday night there). He is now married. i need to keep telling myself over and over again, just to so that it is real....

another one....

I told you all earlier that 3 of my closest friends had all moved away....
Now there is another one! Sparky has up and moved to New Zealand! He says he will be back in 6 months. But we will see.

brrrr....

omg, i am SOOOO cold!

i feel like i work in an igloo. The office managers seriously need to learn how to control the air conditioning. Making ur staff so cold they cant type properly is not productive at all! lol

ok.. ok....

OK.. so i do actually enjoy being single as well.
Especially after spending my morning receiving emails from 3 of my best girlfriends, crying about their significant others and how big of assholes they are.

How much bullshit are you meant to put up with just for the sake of having someone?
Is it better to be in a unhappy relationship cos u are scared to be alone or to just be on ur own, as an happy as it may seem at the time but with the possibility that at any time of meeting someone that will make u very happy?

Personally i don't see any argument there.

A list of Pros to why I like being single....

Im sure there are some... but i just cant think of any right now.

A list of cons to why I hate being single....

I hate going to parties alone
I hate sleeping alone
I hate waking up alone
I hate knowing that every single boring errand i have to do, im going to do it alone
I hate not having sex
I hate not having anyone to just kiss & cuddle.
I hate cooking for one and shopping for one
One is a lonely number
I hate people asking me why im still single
I hate people not asking me why im still single (im not sure which it worse)
I hate my birthday because reminds me each yr, that im still single
... dont even get me started on Valentines day and Christmas. Easter is ok, cos theres chocolate.
I hate having to think about the possiblity of not becoming a wife, and mother because i may still be single!!!!!!!!!

(i will add to this list as i think of more....)

He's just not that into you.....

i recently finished reading the book "he's just not that into you". Its writing by 2 of the people who write the Sex & the City series, Greg & Liz.

It was great.... i would recommend it to any female to read, even if they are in a relationship.

It was very empowering.

Yea it sucks to not get that call back from that guy that u are currently smitten with, but why do u want to spend ur time sitting around waiting by the phone/email. if he likes you he knows how to contact you, and would have. The book teaches you how to believe what u actually already know in the back of ur head... that he's just not that into you!

as Greg says- "Don't waste the pretty!"

hmmmmm......

Current mood: unsure :-/


ok.. so yea he did contact me that once. but that has been it.


i tried to call him last night when i got home..... no answer.

i will try to call him one last time later tonight. If he doesnt answer then the ball is in his court(as they say).

Or perhaps he just doesnt have the balls to tell me he didnt actually like me the other night.

Time will tell.......

YAY!!!

Current mood: Happy

i heard from him! yay....

i got an email from him this morning apologising for not replying yesterday. He had no credit on is phone and there was a problem with his emails.

hopefully we can make it to a second date :)

well i thought it went well

Current mood: disappointed

Last night i went on my date.
He was even nicer in person, than he had seemed in the all the emails and phone conversations we'd had in the past few weeks.
He was a complete gentleman. Came to the front door to pick me up. When i opened the door, he looked right at me and smiled. Said hi and gave me a big hug. i very happily hugged back.

We sat across from each other and sipped our coffee's, in the romantic atmosphere of the Italian Forum. We had laughed.. there were no weird awkward silent moments (u have to watch for those i have been told). After an hour and a half coffee/chating... we decided to head home as it was a monday and we both had work the next day.
As he puled up outside my house... he smiled and said he had had such a nice time, i answered that i had aswell. He replied that he would msg me when he got home. id like that, i said smiling. then we did an kiss goodbye on the cheek.

I did get a message from him when he got home. it read 'heya.. im home... it was really nice to meet you finally.. well i am so tired..lol..sweet dreams ;)"
i replied with how it was so nice to finally meet him aswell. goodnight xxx.

It has now been an entire day and i have not heard a thing from him. Quite a change from our previous all day emails back & forth. i sent an sms in the arvo saying hi and asking how his day was going. no reply.

the girls at work think he is doing the whole 48 hour no contact rule cos he doesnt want to seem to eager. But im not so convinced of that. i think that i just need to take the non contact as the hint that he just wasnt that into me.

Pity tho.. he had alot of boxes ticked.... which is a hard thing to find in this world of assholes.

2nd try

Current mood: excited

Quite a long time ago i signed up for a dating site- Lavalife. Not much has come from other than a few extra people added to my msn messenger of whom i have only ever said a few words.
Except a few weeks ago i got an email from a lovely guy.. after emailing back and forth a bit.. msn details were exchanged... then phone numbers.
He seems to have the same ideas about things that i do.
So tonight.. we are going out for coffee. i am really hoping this one goes well. i need something to renew my faith in the male population. That not every guy only has a one track mind.

Tonights date is extremely sweet and has not once asked anything rude. Which is a nice change to the assholes that usually seem to attract.

i am very nervous... excited.. but nervous. lol

Cant be as bad as the last one.. unless of course he tries to take me to KFC. hahahahaha

i think im broken.....

current mood: sick

i havnt been able to function properly all week. I have been feeling so sick. But its a weird illness... its been mostly affecting my stomach. Im not snezzing and coughing like a regular flu.
i cant eat, if i try too, i just feel even worse and want to be sick.

i dont know what is wrong with me!!!!!! *cries*

nice....

current mood: relaxed

Its Friday night and i'm at home... but i'm so glad. After such a big, tiring, stressful week at work, i'm so happy to just be relaxing at home on the couch, with Baileys on ice in my hand. 2 days without work stress is great.. although i'm sure still not enough.... i need a holiday.